Love Of The Near
اَلْحَمْدُ ِﷲِ رَبِّ الْعٰلَمِیْنِ اَلصَّلوٰۃُ وَ السَّلاَم ُ عَلیٰ خَاتَمَ النَّبِیینِ اَمَّا بَعْدُ فَاَعُوذُ بِاﷲِ مِنَ الشَّیْطٰنِ الرَّجِیْمِ بِسْمِ اﷲِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِیْمِ کَلاَّ بَلْ تُحِبُّوْنَ الْعَاجِلَۃً وَتَذَرُوْنَ الآخِرَۃ
(Instead, you love that which is immediate, and neglect the Hereafter. Al-Qiyama 20, 21)
Respectable Ladies And Gentlemen
In the Quranic verse that I have recited Allah Almighty says, “You neglect the hereafter in the love of immediate things.”
Subservience To Immediate Gains
A closer glean into our lives vividly reveals that most of us go for immediate gains; totally ignoring and forgetting the long term advantages. These short term goals mostly are the vicious longings of our self (naf’s). A smoker despite doctor’s warnings and knowing smoking to be injurious to his/her health; seldom quit. A diabetic person will look for an excuse to eat something sweet. This is human psychology which prevails in all spheres of our life, even relating to the gains of the life hereafter.
Three Desires That Make Us Forget The Life Hereafter
The three worldly things that make us forget the life hereafter are love for wealth, pleasures of life and an urge for status. Although these things by themselves are not a problem, but the way we struggle to get them even at the cost of life hereafter, is a matter of concern. To earn rightful wealth is not bad. Our problem begins when in the quest for wealth we ignore right and wrong and want to wealthy at all cost. The pleasures of life are not bad as these have been bestowed on us by Allah Almighty. The problem only starts when knowing well what is forbidden, we continue to seek and enjoy that pleasure. Similarly there is nothing wrong in a position and status granted by Allah Almighty. To strive for a false stature which makes us forget the greatness of Allah Almighty is wrong.
Separate Ways of Men & Women.
The above vices exit in both the genders but with a slight difference and variation. Men being fond of status and stature consider themselves to be important. Whereas women are not fond of status but want to show off at all cost. They make deliberate effort towards this e.g. two women talking to each other will often cut each other’s conversation to exhibit their importance. Men are fond of earning and accumulating wealth, but on the other hand women folk love to buy and possess things like ornaments, clothes and house hold items etc. They often tell the men folk not to accumulate wealth but to spend it; forgetting that they themselves are fond of gathering valuables. In nut shell men accumulate wealth and women want to spend it rashly and possess thing.
Men Are Worldly Wise
Accumulation of wealth when seen in the context of worldly gains is a wiser option; though it is still remains a vice when seen in relation to its pitfalls for the life hereafter. As compared to collecting jewelry, clothes and utensils and crockery, it is better to possess property and cash. Unfortunately this wisdom of men is restricted to this world only. Alas they could also use it for the life hereafter. Women are crazy about buying things with total disregard to the cost. Despite possessing essential items of house hold; women still long to pile up things whether it is utensils or fragile pieces of decoration. It has often happened with me that on return from the market I discover that many things that I had not noticed were also being sold there. Women folk have an eye for these items.
Benefit of Women’s Impulse
I don’t find anything wrong in these female impulses. Men and women are two wheels of the same vehicle. Being responsible for the house hold they are well suited to it. These variations of temperaments have been created by Allah Almighty for a good reason. Men are farsighted and the women are good home managers.
Everything Has A Limit.
It must be ensured that that our avid interests remain within in their limits and do not out grow our thoughts and actions. A balance between needs and greed has to be ensured with a deliberate thought for the life hereafter. When men are totally possessed by wealth and money, then one must benefit from the experience of the other gender in determining the real needs. Cooperation of women folk is necessary to dispassionately assess the real needs of life and then strive for them only.
Determine The Need
Very often men also think like women and start exhibiting the vices and idocyncricies peculiar to them. When designing your home, your needs must outweigh all other considerations. A bath room should be designed to not for fashion but convenience of bathing and ablution. Generally the women folk are fond of blind imitations being oblivious to its advantage or otherwise. They do it just for the heck of it. One should be mindful of her needs vis z vis their income etc. A balance has to be ensured. It’s not bad to possess things that one can afford but we must gauge as to how it will affect the life hereafter. In a place where floor sitting is more convenient; a costly sofa set should not be thrust. Another ill in a joint family system is the unwarranted competition amongst the women. They buy house hold items not for a need but to compete with each other. Women should conscientiously ensure economical house management remaining within their income and budget. They must lend a helping hand to their men ensuring that their income is through bonafide means (rizq e hilal) and corrupt practices are avoided.
Spend Only What Is Affordable
Often one comes across women who despite a meager income of their spouses live a life of glamour and extra vagrancy. They do it not to please their poor husbands but to impress others. اناللہ وانا الہ راجعون
This is sheer ignorance and stupidity. Who in a family does not know the real worth of each other? So it is always better to live within the means and conform your life style to the essentials needs only.
A Strange Example
Let’s look at this analogy. An ornament has two sides; one is its price and the other is it decorative value. These days such jewelry though not made of gold but equally well crafted (imitations) is available in abundance. Some look so real that it becomes difficult to differentiate them from the real gold jewelry. No woman will still accept it; fearing to be let down, if the truth is discovered. True worth of such women is generally known to their peers and relatives. Artificial splendor can back fire and many wrong things can be attributed to her for living beyond means. Isn’t it better to live within the means and avoid slur and defamation? Her own life and that of her husband would become easy and comfortable.
Don’t Bother About People
In this respect wise people are a step ahead. They themselves disclose to others what they cannot afford, thus obviating a chance of any gossip. A friend a mine himself divulges things which people normally hide, ending speculations right there and then. This way he has made his life easy. You may have noticed that those shy type of kids in school and colleges who are teased more because they react and feel offended as against those who ignore such overtures and say calm. The calm types attribute a couple of more things to themselves and are soon forgotten.
Husband Has A Primary Right.
Women must realize that their real place of standing is with Allah Almighty and with their husbands in this world. So long as their husbands are pleased with them, they should not worry about what others think of them. Stranded relations with the husband can be harmful. Therefore her total focus should be her husband and no one else. Our holy Prophet SAW had declared that if prostration was allowed to anyone else beside Allah Almighty, he (SAW) would have asked the women to prostrate before their husbands. This clearly proves the importance given to a husband in Islam. To conclude it can be said women should primarily look after their homes, ensure cordial relations with husbands and avoid being extravagant. Life can be very easy if while adopting good things bad ones are shunned. May Allah Almighty grant us ability to abide by it. Amen.
و آخر دعوانا ان الحمد للہ رب العالمین